Diary from hell
by Ra-chan Neko
Summary: Dobe. The Perverted Crow. The crazy fangirl twins. The Genius-murder-backstabber-jerk... And many more! Find out about Konoha and it's residents from Sasuke's perspective. Also about his many idiotic adventures!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

**A/N: I got sick and tired (For now) of writing and reading about Sakura and other female characters fanfics. Seriously, I have a limit. So instead I tried something different this time.**

**I am going to have soooo much fun with this one. **

It seems that I, Uchiha Sasuke, have been proclaimed by the Konoha _child _psychologists emotionally disturbed.

I do not agree with them.

And there are 2 reasons why not.

A: I'm not a child. No. I'm 13 fucking _years_ old. I will soon become a gennin and officially be proclaimed a _ninja_. Children are not ninja.

Of course my argument was considered invalid, because until I left that academy I was still _officially_ a child.

I am one of the last Uchiha _alive_, at the very top of my class and academy and they proclaim _me _emotionally disturbed. And a _child._ In any other case, I would proclaim that _they _are _nuts._

B: O.K. So just because I act all cool and I am silent most of the times, I am considered emotionally disturbed? In other words, you are trying to tell me I'm emo?!

Well I've got news for all the child psychologists.

My clan was _murdered_. By my _older brother. _And I witnessed the scene. At the age of an 8 year old.

And you expect me to act _perfectly _normal afterwards, like nothing happened. I should just smile away.

Like _fuck _I should.

Luckily (More like unluckily) I didn't get any special program or what not.

But, they say that I shouldn't bottle up my emotions and let them all out. And they say that my personality and _state of mind _will improve by writing my everyday activities in a freakin _diary. _More like, they _ordered _me to write my everyday activities in _a diary_.

Though, I still think that they are doing this because they want to humiliate me. Yup, definitely.

But seriously…a diary?

Great, just _great_.

The child psychologists should just bring me the 'genius-murderer' and I will release _all_ _my bottled up_ _emotions_.

But if that were possible, then I wouldn't even be in this situation.

Life is such a bitch.

So you dumb ass diary, it seems that we will be spending some unfortunate time together. I would have ripped you up right after I got you, but they put some jutsu on you which defends you from various attacks. In other words, anyone who wants to rip you apart or burn you will get _electrocuted_.

And because most of us are ninja, your _voltage _power is extremely _high_.

Thank you _so much_ for that. But I _just _have to say, that Kakashi's hairstyle doesn't suit me.

Your future destroyer who will shred you to pieces

Sasuke

**Name definitions:**

'**Genius-murder'- In this case, this is Sasuke's little nickname for his older brother aka. Itachi. Of course, he will use various other names (Backstabbing jerk, bastard…etc.)**

**Well, what do you think! Review! **


	2. Chapter 2: My team

Chapter 1: My team

**January the 1****st**

Dear freaking diary

It's me, your unfortunate captive. Guess what happened to me today? Easy, today I finally became a gennin. Ha, suck that child psychologists!

Vau, ahem…well, that was quite unlike me…yea…

God, I hope nobody reads this diary. Ever.

Today I can finally get rid of you. Since now I am officially _a ninja._

Hn, I put up with you for…an entire day. That's a new record.

Anyways, the final exam was so easy, I almost laughed because I thought that it was some kind of a joke. _Almost. _I mean, I _don't _laugh.

The Dobe failed though. You have got to be a major idiot to fail that exam. I never doubted it. His IQ intelligence _is _pretty low…

Unfortunately, the crazy fangirl twins passed. Fuck.

I would rather have _the Dobe_ pass, then those two. I really hoped that they would fall asleep or be too busy fixing their hair or something and miss the exam. That would be a blessing.

But life hates me enough as it is to afford me any small miracles or blessings.

They better not put me in the same team as those two. I will probably end my life then.

**Still January 1****st**** 16:00**

Life is so cruel. I hate it. After I end the backstabbing-bastards life, I might end my own. God is against me, that's for sure.

So this is the situation that happened:

I was walking toward the Konoha hospital, you cursed thing in my hand, calm and collected. I enter the hospital, which I personally think is a laboratory of some kind. It smells of various medicines and everything is so…white and clean.

The air itself was refreshed with sprays.

After 10 minutes I finally found the office I was looking for. After another 10 minutes of waiting, I was called to come in. I came into a medium sized room, the old hag with blue hair and brown eyes sitting on a couch, relaxing, as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun." The old hag, which is the cause of all my problems, said with extreme politeness. "What seems to be the problem? Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not _alright_! I was proclaimed emotionally disturbed the other day and was given this cursed thing to write in! I am far from all right you retched hag. You're the cause of all my problems, proclaiming _me_,Sasuke Uchiha, emotionally disturbed. Either you're older then you look or you are missing a _lot of _brain cells. God! How can you just ask 'Am I alright?'!"- Is what I should have said.

This is what I actually said:

"I have become a gennin."

She looked at me in question. How stupid can she possibly get? The sky is the limit I supose.

"And…?"

"Meaning I have no use for this anymore." I handed _you_ to her, but she didn't take _you_.

She stared at _ you _and my hand in confusion, as if that was her first time seeing a human hand up close. After, _God knows how long_, she finally gave some response she was still alive. She _laughed_. In my _face._

"Oh Sasuke-kun, what are you saying?" She stated, brown eyes boring into mine. "We gave you this for many more days to come. You can't just use it for one day and then give it back."

I glared at her.

"What do you mean? I have become a gennin today, I'm no longer a child." I said in a calm tone. "In this case, this is of no use to me anymore and you can take it back." I explained it to her in detail, since her small brain couldn't comprehend to understanding the current situation.

She looked at the ceiling, in thought. I sighed in annoyance(In my head) and was desperately trying to contain myself from screaming at her or something.

She looked at me again with closed eyes.

"Alright."

Well, that was a bit of a shocker for me. I didn't think she would accept defeat _that_ _quickly_, without showing at least a little effort. I almost smirked. _Almost_. Sasuke Uchiha _does not _smirk in front of a doctor. Especially in front of a psychologist. That would tell them that you actually _care_.

"You're right, you are now officially a ninja. You aren't a child anymore."

Ah, victory was always sweet. I could have smiled. But I didn't. I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I have to keep my composure of course.

I nodded in my own stoic way and was about to put _you_ down the table, when that cursed word 'but' came along…

"But, you are now a teenager. Which means…" She started walking up and down the office, taking and filling some papers.

"This." She handed me a piece of paper.

And then, the worst case scenario _just_ happened.

That piece of paper was a document which stated that I am now a teenager and that I am emotionally disturbed and will follow the following instructions:

1. I _must_ write my daily activities in my diary

2. Since I am now a teenager, I must have a session with Child and teenager psychologist aka. the old Hag for one hour each week, so I can be allowed to go on missions and be a ninja. If I miss out on a session, I won't be allowed to go on missions or train the following two days.

3. If I do not go on these sessions multiple times in a row, there will be severe punishments and I might be discharged as a shinobi.

I stared at the piece of paper in horror. I looked at her in horror, my façade shattered_. Child and teenager _psychologist… what a bitch! How dare she…liar! She _never _said she was a child and _teenager _psychologist!

"Don't worry Sasuke-kun. Your current mental condition hasn't been said to the public yet and is still a secret, so we can preserve your image."

What image?! I'm the only one that can preserve my own image! That cow! Trying to control my life!

"This isn't over." I gritted through my teeth, somehow keeping myself from exploding. She smiled at me with a sweet smile, but I knew that there was wicked and hideous smile hidden underneath out to get me.

"Of course it isn't. I expect to see you here on Friday."

I glared at her with my 'Death glare'. I saw her wince a bit. Well, that was the only _good thing_ that happened today. After all, I am an expert 'glarer' thank you very much.

I turned around and stormed off. Just as I reached the door she asked me one last question.

"I am curios though, Sasuke-kun. Why didn't you simply leave the diary or give it to someone?" She stated. "You didn't have to carry it with you. I actually didn't expect that you would even _write _anything in it. Most children simply throw it away."

I froze at her words and…blushed slightly at her comeback. Thank God my back was to her, so she couldn't see me. Yes, yes, the great Sasuke Uchiha blushed. Big fucking deal. I was too pissed to even care.

I slammed the door and walked out of that cursed place.

The truth was, I knew that fact that I could just throw _you_ away, but I realized it too late and now I wrote too many things in _you_ that if it gets into the wrong hands (aka. Dobe)my image would be shattered.

Now I had to keep _you _with me for my entire life, by my side and then when I'm old I will shred _you _or burn _you _and destroy all the things I wrote in _you_ and kill myself (Though _you_ will probably kill me sooner) in the process.

Hn. Well, it's good to at least know that I have some sort of suicidal weapon near me, if the crazy fangirl twins ever get on my team. I could end it all quite quickly with just ripping a couple of pages.

…What am I saying? Who says I will even write anymore things in _you_. That would mean accepting _defeat._ I do _not _accept defeat. Don't expect any more of my _handwriting _for a long, long time to come.

**January 2****nd**** 1:00 in the night**

This. Means. Nothing.

Just because I'm up in the middle of the night and currently writing things in my _diary_, does not mean I accept _defeat. _No way.

The reason _I am_ up this late, was the following situation that happened around midnight:

I was dreaming about my favorite food, when I started to hear some noise which was happening outside. I ignored it and continued sleeping and dreaming. (Why the fuck am I writing something so embarrassing? Who fucking cares anyway.)

Later I heard some noises coming from _inside_ my room. But I really didn't give a fuck and was still sleeping. I heard some crash noises and footsteps seconds later. But like I said, _I didn't give a fuck_.

Then, the figure suddenly stopped and was (I guess) right next to my bed, that is, beneath my sleeping form. I think he didn't recognize me because it was dark. I heard some mumbles and then a hand suddenly touched my own. I gasped and quickly sat up straight and then…

"TOMATOES!" I screamed, my eyes wide, my hand reaching out for _nothing_. The figure was so surprised he took a step back and (The irony.) slipped on a tomato and fell on his ass.

I guess that was my fault. I ate some tomatoes before going to bed and forgot to clean up. Oh well.

I winced in surprise (Luckily the intruder was too busy moaning in pain to notice, plus it was _dark._) and turned the light on to reveal…

"Dobe." I growled and the idiot started laughing after he realized it was me. I glared at him so fiercely; even the _dead_ would have winced in fear. But Naruto's IQ was too low to realize that I was glaring at him and he kept on laughing. Probably because of my little outburst.

Then I noticed something attached at the Dobe's back.

"What are you doing with the sacred scroll?" I voiced indifferently, a very small hint of curiosity in my voice.

Then everything went silent. We stared at each other.

"Um…uh…" The Dobe was hesitating and in the end, just kept his mouth shut.

We were both silent and stared at each other.

I had two options.

I could have kicked the Dobe's ass, report him for stealing the sacred scroll to the Hokage and probably get my popularity boosted up.

Or I could have let him go and not report him, in exchange for him to never tell anyone that I didn't even notice him breaking into my apartment, _even though _he wasn't _silent _at all whilst doing it, and to keep his mouth shut about the fact that I yelled tomatoes after he touched me.

I knew what I had to do.

**January 3****rd**** 8:00**

I should have reported the fucking bastard (Dobe.). I shouldn't have let him go.

Because what happened today was ten times more embarrassing then what would have been if the Dobe told anyone about the situation which happened last night.

Screw me and my intelligence.

So, I came in class today, calm and cool, headband on my head. I took a random seat somewhere and inwardly sighed as all the girls started looking at me and daydreaming about me marrying them or something.

Ha, dream on.

I was a bit surprised to see the Dobe come in and show his headband in everyone's face. So he somehow succeeded to pass. …they probably took pity on him. Damn, I thought they would send him to some prison or something on a faraway island.

And then, the crazy fangirl twins came in. Ah God, how annoying. I can't believe the Dobe is actually _in love _with one of them.

Of course they started arguing about who would sit _next_ to me. And, naturally, all the other girls joined in. Ah geez, give me a _fucking_ _break_.

I sighed in annoyance and turned my head back in front of the board which was _supposed _to be there, but I was instead staring in the Dobe's face.

That was the very first time I got a bit freaked out. He was just _staring _at me as if I was a new animal species.

And then some idiot _behind_ the Dobe, pushed him and guess what happened next? The _Dobe _stole my _first kiss._ Ughh, that sounds so wrong even when _you write it down._

'Holyfuckholyfuckholyfuckholy fuck…' was the only thing that was running in my head the entire time, even though the _kiss_ itself only lasted 2 seconds.

Way too long for me.

I was ready to kill him right there and now, because seriously, I don't swing that way.

But the girls were faster than me. It was amazing to see how they could be the perfect killing machine when working together and when they are pissed.

I still wonder how he _survived_.

Yes, that's what happened today.

Oh don't worry, the torment doesn't end there.

There is more of course.

Today was the day when we would get assigned to a specific team which we would work with for the next…who _knows _how long we will be a team. Maybe until one of us becomes jounin or something.

I didn't really care with whom I would get assigned to. Well, I did actually.

If it were with the crazy fangirl twins, I would commit suicide the next day. And also, it was important to have a good Sensei. The kind that can teach me difficult jutsus, so I can gain skill to kill the genius-murderer.

So I was waiting to have my name called up, while I prayed in my mind 'Please not the crazy fangirl twins, oh God I would rather have the Dobe on my team then those two…'

I'm such an idiot. I should never voice my wishes in my prayer. I should know by now that they always backfire on me.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Iruka finally voiced my name and I tilted my head slightly forward. " and…" And the winning two members are(Drum roll please…)…

"Sakura Haruno." Iruka voiced.

Yes great_, just_ great. I wanted so badly to jump out of the window that was next to me, hoping that it would end my life.

But I thought positively instead. Or at least _tried _to. 'Well, I've got _one _of the crazy fangirl twins, so the chances are…that the other would soon join…'

I swear that window was _calling me_ to jump through it.

"And Naruto Uzumaki."

I almost jumped out of my chair. But I didn't. I kept my composure.

'So this isn't so bad' I thought to myself 'I just have one of the twins…at least I didn't get the blond…wait…blond…Dobe… no…nonononono…I got the _Dobe _on my team. Screw the other twin! If you have one twin and the dobe on your team, it's the same as having_ both_ twins on your team. Fuck it, fuck my life…'

Suddenly, that window used some jutsu and changed into a giant, juicy tomato.

I was at the very edge of my limit. I still don't know how I endured it.

Hn. Life sucks. I would like for each child to know that. Life _definitely_ sucks.

Strangely, I haven't committed murder yet. What's even _more_ strange I'm still writing in _you_…

Well so what. Maybe having the dobe on the team isn't that half bad. He isn't that strong anyways, but at least he could fend for himself. For a couple of minutes. Probably.

Why am I worrying? It's not like the dobe is gonna _randomly _get strong in the future and become my arch rival and enemy right?

**Definitions**

_**You- **_**In this context Sasuke is referring to the Diary itself**

**Dobe- Naruto (Duh.)**

**Crazy fangirl twins- Ino and Sakura. Sasuke can't really say that there are any differences between them (Except for their physical features and the fact that they aren't related by blood) since they both have various competitions against each other and sometimes speak at the same time, and are his most beloved **_**fans**_** aka. the craziest.**

**The old hag- Sasuke's psychologist, that actually put him in this entire mess. Her actual name is Dr. Yume Higaru, and she has long dark blue hair and brown eyes and is also **_**27**__**years old**_**. Sasuke believes that she is actually a witch, using an ancient spell to become younger, but is in reality a nasty, wicked and **_**old **_**witch. **

**Next chapter will be posted next week. This, two days in a row was just a !**


	3. Chapter 3: My Sensei?

Chapter 3: My...teacher?

**A/N: Big thanks to ****DreamAngel2713**

**Hakazu **

**LittleSister505**

**diazades**

**My God Can Beat Up Your God **

**hollownature**

**DiariesAreStupid**

**I appreciate the support, thank you! You guys are awesome. **

**January 4****th**

Dear girl thingy.

Remind me to never carry _you_ with me to…_anywhere. _ Seriously, it's bad enough I have to _write _in you and it's even worse that you're _pink. _Well, cream-pinkish. Ugh, _disgusting._ Luckily, you aren't that big and I was able to put you in my kunai pouch, bag…whatever.

It's amazing to know that whenever I find a solution to a problem, new, bigger and more _difficult _problems come my way.

Wonderful.

So, this morning I was waiting, with my two _teammates_, for our teacher in a classroom. I praised myself for having patience, unlike all the other _teenagers _of my generation. But 4 hours is a very _long _time.

Even for someone _like me. _

Just imagine how _boring _it must have been, that I was tempted to pull _you_ out and start _writing _things in _you_.

Luckily the Dobe's shouting and screaming, stopped me dead in my tracks. Thank God.

"Argh! This teacher must be either very busy or a _Nara!_" The Dobe shouted in frustration. The crazy fangirl twin #1, nodded. In another situation, I would have probably enjoyed to see the Dobe puling his hair out of frustration, but I have to admit that I was close to doing the same thing.

Then the Dobe got an idea. (Remember: This phenomenon only happens every 10 000 years.)

He smirked as he put an eraser at the top of the door and was laughing quietly, probably imagining the teacher falling for the joke. I would now write, that I told him he was stupid and annoying and that a _shinobi _would never fall for that kind of trick.

I'd be lying, because I smirked also, imagining the situation happening in my mind.

As if God heard the Dobe's prayer for this to work, the door opened and the eraser fell flat on top of a man's head.

I was shocked and angry. I couldn't believe that such a _lame _trick actually _worked. _

I was angry because this meant that our teacher was a complete weakling! That wasn't right! How would I be able to grow stronger with a weakling training me!

I was also angry because God pitied the Dobe and let his pathetic joke work! That wasn't fair! When will he ever pity _me_?!

We finally set our eyes upon our teacher…and I gotta say, that is the weirdest teacher I ever saw. Seriously.

Naruto was choking from laughter, rolling on the floor, while me and crazy fangirl twin number #1 took a closer look at our new _Sensei._

He was tall, wearing the standard shinobi clothes, and on closer inspection it seemed he was a jounnin.

But he also looked…_weird_. Even for my standards.

He was wearing a black mask which reached his nose and also covered half of his face, which made me wonder how he breaths: With his skin or his hair?

Oh, and his hair was defying gravity and was also _gray. _His headband served as an eye patch for his right eye, while his left one seemed lazy and bored as it read the orange book in his hand. So the guy probably has a fetish for pirates and orange books?

When I saw the hair I automatically realized who it was. _Kakashi Hatake. _I thought inside my mind as I observed him.

He did change from the last time I saw him. The one and _only_ time I did see him, was when I was younger and when I still _adored_ the backstabber. God, sometimes I disgust myself with these memories…

He once came to give _my_ _brother _coughbastardcough something, a scroll perhaps, and I saw him only for a moment before he disappeared. But I recall that he was an ANBU _commander, _not a jounin.

Unless, I was _hallucinating_ at the time and simply imagined him wearing an ANBU uniform and a very sharp katana strapped to his back, not to mention the dog mask at the side of his head.

Who can say.

The important thing was at the time how he got bored and stated.

"My first impression of the three of you…I hate you."

Talk about being blunt.

He instructed the three of us to meet him on the roof.

"Alright, now that we are all here, why don't you three tell me something about yourselves?" He stated. "Like what?" Crazy fangirl number #1 asked, voicing my very own question also.

"Your dislikes, likes, hobbies…"

"Then why don't you introduce yourself, Sensei?" The Dobe said.

"Hmmm…my name is Hatake Kakashi. I won't tell you my likes and dislikes. My dream…I have none so far. As for my hobbies, I have a few."

Thank you for the _info _Sensei.

"O.K. me next!" The Dobe screamed. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I love ramen cup…but I love Ichiraku's ramen even more! I hate when I have to wait three minutes after the water for the ramen is boiled. My hobby is comparing ramen cups. My dream is to become Hokage!"

_And turn the village into a ramen company? _I thought annoyingly. Seriously, they proclaim that I need a _therapy session_, while dobe on the other hand is completely _sane._

_Stupid ramenholic bastard.  
_

"My name is Haruno Sakura. I like…well the person I like… My dream is…" She squealed as she looked at me. I was calm and cool, I do apsolutely _nothing _and the girls still somehow _adore me? _Well, I can't blame myself for being _perfect._

"And what do you hate?"

"Naruto." Sakura stated bluntly, while Naruto fell into depression, curled up in a ball and whispered to himself 'Why?'.

Now it was my turn.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things I hate"- They don't _know _the half of it.-" and few things I like. Also I have an ambition…to revive my clan and kill a certain man."

That brought everyone's attention and I almost winced. _Almost. _

I simply say my ambition and they think I'm _nuts _or something.

"Alright, your all…unique in your own way. Tomorrow we will be doing a training called 'Survival training.' I need all of you to be on the training grounds tomorrow at 7:00." He instructed.

"Heh? Survival training?" The Dobe asked in his annoying manner. The Sensei laughed. Creepily.

"Yes. Out of 27 graduates, only 9 of you will be able to become gennin. The others will be sent back to the academy."

"I thought we already passed the final exam to become gennin." I voiced, my eyes narrowed.

He chuckled again. Creepily once more.

"Sure, you got your headbands and the ones who did were only chosen as people who are _qualified _to become gennin. But if you have the skill to become gennin, is something _I _will decide." He backfired.

"Oh and also, don't eat breakfast."

This got our attention.

"You'll probably throw it up." He said as he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Wow, thank you for the _encouraging _words _Sensei_. I mean, it's not like I _need_ any encouraging words. Yea…

So anyways, we all started to head our own ways back home.

At least, I was heading back home until I remembered something _awful._

"The therapy session."

**Still January 4****th****, Konoha hospital**

So, there I was in the waiting room, outside the old hag's office, cursing my life and the world.

Joy, a therapy session. How wonderful. A little kid was also sitting in the waiting room, probably somewhere around 7. He looked my way.

"So…are you…?" He asked, more like _whispered,_ and I automatically got the message.

"Yea." I answered boringly.

"Is this your first…?"

I nodded. "You?" And if _you _think that it is _unbelievable_ for Sasuke Uchiha to actually _talk_ to another human being, while trying to be_ polite_, then don't. This was…this happened just that time!

He nodded slightly, a bit embarrassed.

"I don't see why, you look perfectly normal to me."

"My parents…got killed last week, so…"

"Oh. Sorry for your lose." I whispered.

Yes, I said sorry. I mean geez, the kid lost his parents. Of course I felt _sorry_ for him!

"Are you…" He started, staring at his feet. "How do you feel?" He asked, looking my way. I shot him a confused look. Once more, he stared at his feet.

"Are you…happy? You know…for the therapy session? Nervous?"

Yes, I have always wanted to go on a therapy session! It's been my dream since I was 5!

"_Overjoyed_."

That is where the conversation ended, since I was called to come in through the gates of hell. I took a deep breath, as if I was prepared to battle and walked in.

And there, the devil herself, was patiently sitting behind her desk, probably planning my demise. I took a seat on the black couch and just waited for this stupid thing to get over with. 'This is going to be one _long_ hour' I thought as I glared at her slightly smiling face.

"Sasuke-kun, so you came."

"Yes, unfortunately."

"I see nothing unfortunate about you coming."

"You _don't_?"

"You do? How so?"

"I have to _explain_ it to _you_?"

She was either very _stupid_ or very _naïve_. Probably both.

"Well, not to mention the fact I have to _see_ you I also have to spend my precious time _being_ with you."

"I had no idea you had anything against me, Sasuke-kun."

Geez, are you going blind or insane?

"What is it that you find annoying about me? Or the things that irritate you?"

"…"

I didn't _need_ to answer that question. She knew. I also had to consider that everything I say (Good or bad) will be written down in some kind of report or something.

She stared at me intently for the next few…minutes? It felt like _decades_!

Afterwards she changed the topic.

"So…I see that you have passed the academy with flying colors, am I correct? You were also the top student of your generation."

"Correct."

"Well, that must have been quite an effort. What made you study so hard, hmm?"

"…?"

"I mean, what was your ambition to become the best?"

"…my ambition still remains."

"Oh? What is it then? Was it to…be noticed? Make someone proud? A bet?"

"No, it's quite simple."

"I wish to kill my brother."

"…"

"…"

"…a-ha, I see. Um- Why don't we talk about…your new team! Yes, you did get your new teammates today haven't you? And you also met your new teacher right?"

" I wouldn't say _teammates._"

"Why not? How are they like?"

"Annoying and _weird_."

"And your teacher?"

"Just…_creepy_."

"…?"

"He looks _weird_. And creepy. That's all."

"You should never judge a book by its covers Sasuke-kun."

"Whatever."

"Neither should you judge your _teammates."_

"Hn, I'll _keep_ that in mind." _As if._

"How come you find them annoying Sasuke-kun? "

"Because, they _are._"

"Maybe they aren't. Maybe they are completely different then what you think they are."

_Ah yes, they are awesome, smart and quiet. Crazy fangirl #1 isn't annoying and clingy and the Dobe isn't stupid and loud._

"_Trust me. _I _know._"

The old hag sighed and shook her head. I just glared at her. I wasn't insane nor a lost cause. I wasn't even supposed to _be here. _She tells me not to judge a book by its cover, and then she tells _me _I'm emotionally _disturbed_. The entire _world _is against me.

"Oh well. Now…our last topic for today…"

I looked at her indifferently, just waiting for this tortured to finally _end_.

"Sasuke-kun…" She looked at the ceiling, as if trying to choose her words carefully. "Have you ever thought…about your sexuality?"

My _jaw _dropped to the . . That was just…such a wrong question! W-What…what is wrong with her! Yes God, now let the torture join forces with the embarrassment!

"I…I…What?!" I practically _screamed _. Something that I _never _do. Out of frustration I stood up as well. Which was a very _bad move _later on.

The old hag sighed and shook her head.

"I know this might come as a surprise and a very personal question."

_You don't say_

"…Sasuke-kun." She stated seriously, her eyes narrowed. "Are you gay?"

I fell backwards, hitting the cold ground with my head. I looked at her with wide eyes, gaping like a fish out of water. For the first time, I found myself _speechless. _

"W-what-t makes y-you think _that_?" I stuttered and at the same time growled. I know, weird combination. Once again, she sighed deeply.

"If you are feeling uncomfortable about it, then I understand." She spoke slowly, thinking that I'm some sort of a _retard. _"We don't have to continue this topic if you don't like it."

I got up, a bit shakily, quickly regaining my composure (That is, what was left of it).

"Look, just because I don't return the _same _feelings every other girl has for _me, _does _not _mean I'm _gay _or have any kind _of feelings like that _for the opposite sex." I growled out, furious as to how she _came _down with that conclusion.

Me, being gay? I'd rather pull my eyes out of my sockets, burn them and put them back in.

I was finally able to relax somewhat after releasing my fury, still standing, while the old hag sends me a pointed look.

"Really? Then what about how you kissed that Naruto fellow?" She stated.

Once again, I met the cold floor. And also I looked at her with wide eyes, but this time I was able to respond to that. Somehow.

"T-that- t-that was an accident!" I screamed. Again. "If anything, _he _is the one that _kissed me!" _

"Sasuke-kun…there is no shame in being gay." She told me with a smile. "Some people just…aren't attracted to the opposite sex."

"B-but I-!"

"Now, now. I won't tell anyone. It will be our -uh, look at the time! Our session was supposed to be over 5 minutes ago." She stated as she walked me over to the door.

"I will see you next Thursday, Sasuke-kun." She informed me as the small kid looked at us weirdly and entered the room, while the old hag was still staring at my shocked face.

"And don't worry. It will be our little secret." She winked at me and slammed the door in my _face. _

...

I can't express how weird that therapy session was. Hell, if this continues I truly will become _emotionally disturbed. _

I have now, a new ambition.

Kill the kid which pushed the dobe.

**Review please! ;)**


	4. Chapter 4: Weird day

Chapter 4: Weird day

**January 5th **

Dear Diary

Today was…very weird. I'm not sure from which scale I could describe how weird it was, but…today was _very __**weird. **_

The morning went on fine, I was simply preparing for the stupid survival training and was very cranky because said survival training. I was also cranky and mad, because no matter how much I thought about it, I _still _couldn't find a new nickname for crazy fangirl twin #1. Seriously: Pink bitch? Or maybe lunatic with green eyes?

Heck, I even considered trying 'Pink Hulk', but that would be putting the Hulk name to shame, since, let's face it, she could barely avoid an _easy_ surprise attack so…Hulk? Pfffttt.

But that's not important right now, ahem, anyways, while I was sorting out some kunai and shuriken in my pouch and bag, I forgot to go buy bubble gum yesterday. I know that bubble gum shouldn't be chewed when training, but I just _couldn't _train without bubble gum.

For me that was utterly impossible, and if I _died _while training _because _I _choked _on the bubble gum (Which would be the most absurd death ever), then I have to say, I brought it on myself.

Irritated, I jumped out of my window and with my cool, super-awesome ninja techniques, I was standing in front of the supermarket in a flash.

**He's lying. He hit his head in a tree on the way there. It was pretty hilarious.**

WHAT?! I did no s-such THING, ho- wait, where did this writing come from?! And how come I can't erase it! What the hell is going on here?

**Calm down Sasuke-chan. Your mad scribbling on the pages **_**hurts. **_

…

**Well, at least **_**now **_**I have your attent-HEY WAIT! Don't close me!**

…? What are-no, who are you? If this is some kind of a prank I will find _**you. **_

**Woah, easy on the killer intent. Geez, you seriously have some aggression problems.**

You have 10 seconds to explain yourself, whoever you are or I'm _leaving _and never opening this diary _again_.

**Uhhh, and that's supposed to scare me?**

…10, 9, 8-

**Fine, Fine! Geez, calm down. Seriously, you have absolutely **_**no**_** patience, now have you? Allow me to introduce myself: I am your Diary.**

…

**Sasuke-**

OK, now I _know _that you're using some sort of ninjutsu on me, so spill; Where are you hiding? Trust me; it will be easier on you if you come out _now. _

**Ninju- What? No, I'm seriously your **_**Diary. **_**I ain't cracking pots here.**

Cracking-wha? The hell…? Whatever, I'm in no _mood_ for jokes.

**Ugh, I'm not joking! Look, this is your diary; I'm your **_**Diary! **_

You're serious? You're not joking, because even if you _are _my diary (Which I highly doubt), this conversation would be impossible you know?

**Says the guy who can spit fire and change the color of his eyes. **

W-who did yo-?!

**I'm telling you, I'm. Your . **_**Diary. **_

Seriously, you're _you? _The one thing I swore to destroy one day?!

**Yes, that's me; and you should really stop calling me **_**you. **_**It's really offending you know; like I'm Voldemort or something and my name is forbidden to be said.**

Voldemort…? Aha…so, you're my diary?

**Yes! Haven't we past that point already!**

Apparently not! How can I communicate with you? How can you _do this_?! And why have you appeared just now!

**OK, it seems somebody doesn't know about politeness. You should firstly ask a **_**being**_** their name at least! **

Does that really matter!? You seem to know _my_ name, and besides: You're a DIARY! You don't have a name!

**Why, ugh, -my God! You are the most spoiled and impolite _bastard_ I ever meet! EVER! Of course I have a name! Talking diaries **_**do **_**have a name you know!**

Well, I wouldn't know that since I never met _one before._ Geez, and what's up with all the exclamation marks? Why are you implying that you are _yelling_ so much!

**ME!? Why- Ugh, whatever. You started it anyways.**

Started what?

**This conversation.**

…HOW? How by God knows _what, _did I start this conversation?!

**Hmph, look whose using the exclamation marks **_**now. **_

Ugh, this conversation is heading towards nowhere. Goodbye crazy whatever you are. I'm gonna go get some rest. Ha, I guess I really _am _disturbed if I imagined _this _conversation, writing, dialog- Whatever! I'm heading to sleep.

**HOLD IT!RIGHT!THERE!**

What no-

**LOOK **_**BUDDY! **_**This is the first time in 40 **_**years**_**, that I was able to come out and see the world **_**again. **_**And I'm not going to let a bastard like **_**you, **_**ruin this beloved moment. Now sit back down at that desk and start writing again!**

Alright, fine, geez.

**Good, now let's start from the beginning. Yes I am your diary, and no, I'm not playing a trick on you. You see, when you starting writing on the 5****th**** page of this diary, you unlock me from my cage, therefore meaning; I start to see everything around you, well as long as you carry me with **_**you **_**somewhere. And don't worry, even if you put me in a bag, I can still see through it.**

Wait a minute! But this is the 7th page!

**Yea, I was too busy exploring around your world since I didn't see it in such a long time. So, I didn't want to bother with you yet.**

You _shouldn't _have bothered with me at _all._

**Well, now I have. Also, unfortunately for **_**us, **_**you're the only one who can see my writing; and the only one who can write in **_**me**_**. Also, I can only communicate with you through writing. **

Ah, so…_you're_ something similar to a curse, ha?

**And you seem to be something similar to an asshole, ha? But, yea you can say that. Also, my name is Henry.**

Henry? What kind of name is that?

**Actually my full name is Henry Franchesco von Benedict the Third. I'm from overseas.**

Ahh…so basically, the _child _psychologists gave me a _cursed _diary to write in. Won't that just turn me into a psychopath, not _fix _my so called _problem_?

**HEY! I'll have you know that **_**I'm not **_**that kind of a curse. But, you seriously do have a problem, if you aren't aware of that.**

Why you- Alright fine, I'm worn out anyways. Have you been sucking my chakra or something? I feel like I've just been through some sort of a three day marathon.

**Actually, I've been sucking your **_**spiritual **_**energy. I only suck it out when we 'Communicate', so I can continue writing to you, although now I'm **_**reconsidering **_**that decision. If I can only 'communicate' with a jackass like you, then it would be better to shut up for the rest of my so called life.**

At least we agree on something. I'm going to bed.

**Aren't you gonna finish the story?**

Not in this condition. And certainly not with _you _around. I'll finish it tomorrow and write about what happened the same day.

**Fine, do as you please. But I'm warning you; don't you **_**dare **_**throw me in that cupboard. I'm claustrophobic- HEY WAIT!**

… _**That idiot son of a-**_

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed! XD I'm realllly starting to love Henry! Don't you? I'm also sorry to my readers about the huuuugeee delay TT. I didn't mean too! But anyways, school's over so I have more time to tend to this and new stories ;). See you next time! And also:**

** I DON'T OWN NARUTO.**


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